I wrote this song at St. Gertrude’s while walking through the woods and wondering about wisdom. Read my annotations to learn more! If you fancy, you can hear a draft recording of this song - recorded in my studio at St. Gertrude’s (my indoor studio, not the woods, which were just as much my studio)! The recording is all the way at the bottom of the page, under my numerous footnotes.

who is she?

Baptized in the firmament [1]

Anointed by the snow [2]

Decorated ‘midst the stars,

And all the heav’nly hosts [3]

Who is she? [4]

Does she labor with me? [5]

Is she like a Steller’s Jay

In the middle of the day? [6]

Or is she like an owl white,

Winging through the woods at night? [7]

Who is she?

Does she labor with me? [8]

If I drive from Boise through Payette

To Cottonwood,

Does her hand rest on my own,

And help me slow down when I should? [9]

And on the bus rise down to Xela,

Did she fly resplendently? [10]

Or the ski lift up to Eden, [11]

Then did her visage I see? [12]

Who is she?

Does she labor with me? [13]

I may not always recognize

Her plumage – dark or bright [14]

But I shall know her by her deeds,

In the day and in the night. [15]

Yes, by her footprints in the snow, [16]

Sophia always shows [17]

What her children need to know,

And where it is that they should go. [18]

[1] Google this archaic word! I found this definition when I just did: “the heavens or the sky, especially when regarded as a tangible thing.” I like that.

[2] I’m using religious words like “baptized” and “anointed” and contrasting/comparing them with mysteries of the natural world like the “firmament” and “snow.” Who would be baptized in the sky or given their priestly duties in the snow? 

[3] I mean decorated as in the way a political ruler is “decorated” with honors, yet this person is decorated ‘midst the stars and the heavenly hosts. You might find several different descriptions of the heavenly host if you Google them. Angels, warriors, even the stars in the sky… There is a mystery here in my own mind about who they are.

[4] “The LORD by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding he established the heavens; by his knowledge the deeps broke open, and the clouds drop down the dew.” (Proverbs 3:19-20, NRSV)

[5] “So I turned and gave my heart up to despair concerning all the toil of my labors under the sun, because sometimes one who has toiled with wisdom and knowledge and skill must leave all to be enjoyed by another who did not toil for it.” (Ecclesiastes 2:20-21, NRSV)

[6] While I was walking through the woods and writing these lyrics, a deep blue bird I had never seen landed on a pine branch right in front of me. I was transfixed. This is the bird (the colors were less clearly delineated to my eye than they look in these photographs – the black and blue blended together more): https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Stellers_Jay/photo-gallery

[7] I heard a beautiful Great Horned Owl multiple times in the woods around sunset at St. Gertrude’s. This line is about a visceral early childhood memory I have, though. I don’t remember where or when, but I was standing in a snowy forest at night and looking at a Snowy Owl in a tree: https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Snowy_Owl/photo-gallery

[8] “Wisdom is radiant and unfading, and she is easily discerned by those who love her and is found by those who seek her. She hastens to make herself known to those who desire her.” (Wisdom 6:12-13, NRSV)

[9] I did drive from Boise to Cottonwood. I did not drive through the town of Payette, but I did drive through the Payette National Forest. My survival of this journey attests to the fact that I slowed down when I should’ve. 

[10] I made a journey by myself in November 2020 to visit a dear friend who was living in Xela (Quetzaltenango), Guatemala at the time. Obviously, this was a bizarre time to travel by myself to a foreign country. I took about a five-hour bus ride from Guatemala City through the mountains to get to Xela (which made me sick to my stomach). I kept wondering if I would see the elusive “Resplendent Quetzal” while in Guatemala, which Quetzaltenango was named for: https://birdsoftheworld.org/bow/species/resque1/cur/introduction. I did not see this beautiful bird, but I did see my friend. I believe now that it was ultimately a wise decision to make the trip, though I had my doubts at the time!

[11] First of all, you should know that the Garden of Eden in the Bible is on a mountain. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could take a ski lift up that mountain and be there? Well, in Utah, I skied at a beautiful place called Powder Mountain and the town is called Eden. No coincidence there! You can read about my skiing adventure here: https://www.thedeneckes.com/wintergreen/wintergreen-journal-part-i

[12] Visage is a fancy word for someone’s face, countenance, likeness… If you read about my skiing adventure, you know that was another time when I had doubts about the wisdom of my choices… Then a lovely ski patrol member came and helped me traverse a trail I would not have otherwise done by myself. Wisdom sometimes calls us to take risks, I think! I was glad to see Julie’s visage that night, either way.

[13] “And if anyone loves righteousness, her labors are virtues, for she teaches self-control and prudence, justice and courage; nothing in life is more profitable for mortals than these.” (Wisdom 8:7, NRSV)

[14] Gotta round out the bird similes from earlier.

[15] “For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon’; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.” (Jesus, Matthew 11:18-19, NRSV)

[16] This stanza alludes to a poem called “White Fields” by James Stephens: “And our mothers always know / By the footprints in the snow, / Where it is the children go.”

[17] In my recording linked below, you can hear that I have been going back-and-forth about this line. I don’t know how subtle/not subtle I want to be with the answer to “who is she?” Sophia is not that subtle, though. This common name comes from the Greek word for Wisdom.

[18] I am not only alluding to Stephens’ “White Fields” in this stanza, but also referring back to Matthew 11:19 (referenced above). Some translations don’t speak of Wisdom’s works or deeds, but of her “children.” In the KJV (which I always consult for its great poetic beauty), Jesus says “But wisdom is justified of her children.”

In my last wintergreen journal, I wrote about my travels to get to The Center for Benedictine Life at the Monastery of St. Gertrude, and the first part of my time there as artist-in-residence. After writing that post, I performed a public concert for the sisters and people from the area, wrote more music, did some exploring, met some more new people, wrote some more music, shared more music with the sisters, said goodbye, and headed home a different way than I came. I thought I’d write a bit about this second half of my journey, now that I am back home in Fort Wayne and have had some time to reflect. If you live in Fort Wayne, I want you to know that you are invited to come hear me talk about my experiences at the Monastery, and to hear Eli and I play some of the new music I wrote this Sunday, February 11th, at 3pm ET. We are hosting a house concert with afternoon tea (and some good snacks from the Monastery). Come hang out!

Last bit of housekeeping: our crowdfund for the two albums we have been writing is live for SEVEN more days (as of the posting of this journal). Please check out our crowdfund on Kickstarter and see if there is any way you can help us out: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/thedeneckes/the-deneckes-double-album-crowdfund. We are so grateful to absolutely every one of you who has been able to support our goal of making these two albums so far. Thank you!

The second half of my time at St. Gertrude’s started out with a public concert in the chapel on a Sunday afternoon. After my first week of songwriting, I had a handful of new songs to share with the sisters and anyone from the area who wanted to come listen. There are typically several people from the local community who come to the Monastery for church on Sunday mornings. It was lovely to meet some of the people who stayed for the concert. I met one woman who had driven from a few hours away. I also met a couple who are retired Episcopal clergy and participate actively at St. Gertrude’s on a regular basis. It was also nice to have a public concert to prepare for, it helped me stay on-track and focused about writing music for that first week.

After the concert, I got back to my routine of songwriting, praying, spending time with the sisters, and hiking (you can read more about my personal daily routine in the other wintergreen journal). Like I mentioned in the last journal, there were college students at the Monastery when I got there. When I arrived on Saturday, January 6th, the students had already been there for a few days. They were on a January term with Whitworth University, and their professor, Dr. Samantha Miller, was teaching them about old and new traditions and practices of monasticism. The students were mostly juniors and seniors in college, and I had a great time getting to know them. They left during my second full week at St. Gertrude’s. Besides the college students, there were other people in and out throughout my residency. Throughout the year, people from all over come for individual and group retreats at St. Gertrude’s. You can read more about some of those here: https://stgertrudes.org/retreats/. I always enjoyed meeting people who were on retreat. People came to visit, pray with the sisters, and hike in the woods for many different reasons. Here are a couple of pictures I took on my last full day, when I visited the Spirit Center (where retreats are typically held):

Skiing

My routine in my second week at St. Gertrude’s was similar to my first week, but the snow slowed down a bit, and the roads cleared up. I got to use my Indy Pass and go skiing twice that week. I went on a Tuesday and had perfect blue-sky conditions with powdery snow, and then I went back on a Saturday and had insane wet snow and slush but still a lot of fun. Both times, I enjoyed the scenic drive on highway 95 through the steep mountain canyons as much as the skiing. Like I mentioned after skiing at Powder Mountain in Utah in my last journal, skiing out west is DIFFERENT! The runs are so loooooooooong and steeeeeeeeeeep. My muscles adjusted to a different level of stamina, just being on the runs for more than a minute at a time! Hah! My two skiing days were like days off, yes, but also deeply contemplative times for me, as skiing by myself always is. Those long and quiet rides up the mountain on the ski lift are good thinking time, good praying time, and good songwriting time, too.

Spaces

Besides the slopes, I wanted to share a few more photos of other spaces at St. Gertrude’s. I know I shared at least one picture of the chapel in my last journal (when it was all decked out for Christmas and Epiphany). Here is another picture of the chapel which I took after coming back in from a hike one day:

This picture shows how this beautiful space serves many functions in the life of St. Gertrude’s. In the front, you see chairs facing towards the main area for worship. You can also see the organ and the small group of chairs for the choir at the front. Like I mentioned, many people come to St. Gertrude’s for Mass during the week, and especially on Sundays. On any given day, you will see local people at St. Gertrude’s for the Eucharist. In this photo, the door you can see on the left is the entrance into the chapel for the public (people can come in and visit throughout the day, too, just to spend time in the chapel). The larger door on the right goes straight into the rest of the Monastery. Through that door are the sisters’ offices, as well as their bedrooms, dining room, and other living areas. That’s where I was staying, too! It amazed me to think of such a beautiful space for worship being located in the same building where you eat, sleep, and work! Think about it. I was talking with Sister Teresa about this one day, and she pointed out that the downside is there are less physical boundaries when you live, sleep, eat, and work in the same place. I totally get that. But this morning, when I slept through my alarm in Fort Wayne and pretty much missed all of Morning Prayer with my church here, I remembered my brief time living one minute from this beautiful place fondly :)

Speaking of Morning Prayer, if you look at the bottom portion of the photograph above, you can see there is an additional seating area. This portion of the chapel has seats for two choirs of people to face each other during Morning Praise, Midday Praise, and Evening Praise. Those prayer times always begin and end with silent time for contemplation, and everyone faces East (where the front of the room is). Then, the two choirs turn towards each other, and share time in prayer through readings, liturgy, and chant. Each person has a designated place to sit. I became very accustomed to my little spot, where I sat two to three times every day depending on the schedule:

I was very lucky to have two very cool prayer warriors next to me every day, Sister Barbara Jean (on my left) and Sister Barbara Ann (on my right). They made sure that this Protestant did not get lost during prayer EVER! I loved getting to know both of them. In addition to the chapel, there are beautiful spaces all over the property where one might go to pray. Of course, I spent a lot of time hiking through the stewardship forest, which I included many photographs of in my last journal. Here is another one, just in case you forgot how lovely this forest is:

The sisters do intend for people to spend time out in the stewardship forest and all over the property of the Monastery. This is a part of their ministry which meant a great deal to me. I kept thinking about how many people have been ministered to by their stewardship of this forest in addition to the beautiful buildings on the land. You can read more about their Philosophy of Land Use here: https://stgertrudes.org/about/care-of-the-land/. Another interesting way that they bring their sensibilities about land, worship, and prayer together is in a space near the main building and before the stewardship forest called the Grotto Garden. I didn’t do a lot of sitting still while I was outside, because it was very cold for most of my time and I had to hike to stay warm (LOL), but if it were warmer, I would have enjoyed spending more time in this grotto:

I thought it was so cool that there was an outdoor space for prayer and contemplation in addition to the many indoor spaces designated for prayer and worship. Oh, there are so many more spaces I could write about! But I want to tell you about The Sisters.

Sisters

Why does this section start with a picture of a Happy Passover mug? Well, mainly because I almost never had my phone with me when I was with the sisters, and thus, have no pictures with them. But also because I found this mug among a sprawling collection of mugs in the dining room, and it made me smile. A major priority of Benedictine spirituality is Hospitality. People of any faith or no faith at all are welcome to visit St. Gertrude’s. I’m not sure how this mug found its way to the Monastery, but it felt like a small token of the broad acceptance and love which the sisters demonstrate towards others (for example, my being Protestant was at no point an issue for anyone in any way). As early as my interview with Sister Teresa, I sensed this welcoming and hospitable spirit. I was not even prepared for the level of hospitality and kindness which they expressed once I was physically there.

Most of my writing has been about my inward experience while visiting The Monastery of St. Gertrude, because it is still difficult to put into words what these women are like. Yet, they are the best part of this wonderful place. First of all, they are actually very normal people. And by normal, I really mean normal. If you ran into one of the sisters on the street, you would not in any way instantly know that she is a Benedictine Sister. One reason is because they do not wear habits at St. Gertrude’s. They wear sweatshirts, and sweat pants, and jeans, and sneakers, and bathrobes, and slippers. On Sunday? Usually pretty dresses and skirts. I spent a lot of time talking with Sister Elisa, who, like many of the sisters, was a part of the Monastery of St. Gertrude during Vatican II. She told me all about the transition from wearing habits to wearing “secular” clothing during that time period, and how bizarre it was for them at first. They even brought psychiatrists to the Monastery to help them talk through what a change this was. I think habits are really neat — that visual expression of faith and vocation — but I found it nice as an outsider living among the sisters for a short time to also have a visual reminder that they are normal people. This is really silly, but I was prepared for some reason for them to all act similar to each other. I don’t know why I expected that. Maybe because they all took vows to uphold a really similar lifestyle? But they are each very different. I mean, imagine spending a significant amount of time with 15+ people for a few weeks… You quickly see all the different personalities and dispositions.

Of course, they are not really normal people. They have made a significant and radical commitment to God, each other, and a lifestyle which is quite unlike the average American’s. I wish I could write about each of them, but there is much better writing about them here (you can read all of their amazing bios by clicking on their pictures): https://stgertrudes.org/meet-the-sisters/. Each community is called towards a different expression of monasticism (though all spend significant amounts of their time in prayer and worship). When this particular group of Benedictines came to the United States from Switzerland, they quickly realized God was not asking them to live a totally cloistered existence. They saw too great a need in their new home, and began to use their skills towards callings as teachers and nurses. You can read more about the history of this particular group here: https://stgertrudes.org/history/. That being said, I realized through talking with people before and after being at St. Gertrude’s that many in our society are not really aware of what monastics are up to in any context. I hope I have given a little, tiny window into their life by sharing my experience, but I really hope that if you are even remotely intrigued, you will go visit some monastics! You could go all the way to Cottonwood, Idaho, but I bet you have some monastic friends closer to you than that. Do some Googling and you’ll see.

What I want you to know, reader, whatever your background is, whether you are religious, atheist, agnostic, or somewhere between is this: there are quiet places in the world. There are places where you can rest. There are places where you can be alone. There are places where you can think. I know that some may read about my experience and think that they would never have the time or resources to do something similar. That may well be true, you might not be able to travel for several weeks to a far away place to write music. What about a Saturday afternoon? Might there be a place you can drive to have some quiet before Monday? I think there is. I’m also a good researcher, so if you don’t know how to find a good place to go you can ask me for ideas. I think transparency about finances is important, too, so I’ll say share a bit about my situation. Currently, Eli and I are living off of ONE full-time income. It does not take a lot of math skills to figure out how exciting that can be! Why do you think we have to use Kickstarter to crowdfund our albums? Yet, places like St. Gertrude’s are preserving a place in the world for people who need to go there. As artist-in-residence, I was given all of this for free (they are like SO SERIOUS about hospitality!!!!). I was not asked to contribute any money to be there. Most monastics who host people do not charge much, if they ask for money at all. It is often a donation-based system (Eli and I were fortunate to experience this same monastic hospitality along the Camino de Santiago a few times in the Summer of 2021, as well). You give what you can (if you can), and you are given more than you thought you needed.

This is the point I am trying to drive home:

Send-Off

It was, indeed, a long journey home. Not only was it difficult to leave such a wonderful place, but it was also quite literally difficult to drive to and from such a wonderful place! The night I arrived, when the snow began to fall only five minutes before I pulled up, I thought about how grateful I was that the weather (and whichever guardian angels were assigned to my bold travel plans) had allowed me to get there safely. Sister Teresa told me that she thought their motto should be “difficult to get to, but worth it.” I quite agree. The drive home also involved mountains to traverse, though they were not as big. I had such a good first travel day leaving. The roads were completely clear and I took a very scenic drive on highway 12 across to Western Montana:

Upon arriving in Missoula, Montana, I spent a really lovely evening catching up with my old friend from grad school, Holly. We had some delicious cheeseburgers and beer, and made a night of it! The next afternoon, I was reminded of another vocational calling I have sensed in my life (in addition to music): teaching. Holly showed me hospitality not only by hosting me for two nights in Missoula, but also by inviting me to come share a songwriting workshop with her delightful American Roots Music Ensemble at the University of Montana. Oh my goodness. These students! They were great musicians (they have a great mentor), and they were deep thinkers. I can’t tell you how much it warmed my heart to hear their insightful comments on the lyrics I labored over at St. Gertrude’s. I also played “wintergreen” for/with them, and when we finished, the students noticed tons of metaphors and poetic choices I made in those lyrics. One of my favorite moments was when a student, bursting with excitement, said, “I hope I’m not making too much out of something that isn’t there, but were you alluding to Robert Frost in the lyrics to the third verse?” They were just the best students. I spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around the campus, and when Holly got done with her work day, we had a good old grad-school-style evening of working at a brewery. I headed out the next day, off to Glendive, Montana, clear on the other side of the state.

My drive from Missoula to Glendive was beautiful and varied. I had clear roads and skies, and the topography changed significantly. It was about eight hours of driving. As I got closer to Glendive, the mountains of Western Montana gave way to the badlands of Eastern Montana. Did you know that badlands are a thing? I knew that Badlands National Park was a thing, but I didn’t know that in this region of the country, people refer to this specific landform as “badlands.” In Glendive, people were telling me about the “badlands on the edge of town.” In this tiny town, they had a park with these insane landforms and there were people just taking their casual morning jog there when we drove through.

Oh my goodness, Glendive. The people there were really lovely. I did my makeup in an Arby’s drive-thru an hour away, and got there with exactly enough time to set up my PA and start playing at 7pm. I think the people from Glendive were one of the best audiences I have ever played for. They filled up Glendive United Methodist Church, they listened to lady of the gardens before I got there, they bought a bunch of CDs, they openly cried while I sang “lavender” and told me stories about it afterwards, and they told me everything they love about their town. It was a big risk for me to take the time and resources to sojourn all the way to St. Gertrude’s, and planning a solo tour on either side of the residency was a risk and a lot of work, too. The warmth of response I received from the students at University of Montana and the audience in Glendive, Montana was encouraging to an extent that I did not anticipate or know I would need for my long journey home. And, I mean, I love college towns and I love small towns. Imagine being a mostly unknown musician and driving into a small (VERY remote) town and seeing this:

Then, on a cold night, walking into this warm, beautiful space to play your original music for a bunch of kind, expectant strangers:

I had the nicest time catching up with Pastor Logan of Glendive UMC, too. He is a friend-of-a-friend - he went to seminary with my dear friend Annie. We met through a variety of wedding-related-activities last year, and when Annie pointed out to me that I would be driving through his town, it seemed like a crime not to stop and play a concert at his church! I’m SO glad I did. He loves Glendive, too, Southern boy from Alabama that he is, all adjusted to the cold dark winter. He told me all about his favorite parts of the town, too, and I would say that he is now not only a friend-of-a-friend, but a friend, whom I would love to visit in Glendive, Montana again some day.

I couldn’t help but stop and visit two hooligans who I have been seeing pretty often these days, the dearest Jeff and Leah. The photograph above was taken at a house show which they were at when I arrived in Minneapolis. I tried to crop it so you can’t really see the random strangers in the photo but can see the instructive sign which must have been based on some prior incident. It’s always good to see old friends, especially after many hours on the road. Pacific Time, Mountain Time, and finally, Central Time. I only had one time zone to go!

We had lots of fun, like we always do! And we were up late, like we always are. We slept late the next morning, and then I Irish-goodbyed, eager to get on the road for one last long day of driving. Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Eastern Time, Fort Wayne… what a blur. I can’t believe I’m back. Obviously I am especially glad to be back in the same house with Eli! Everything feels the same here, in a good way. And I feel different, also in a good way. I partially feel different because, two days after getting back, I found myself stuck in bed with a stomach bug for half the week. Now I’m healthy and I’m ready to get back to work on these songs. This semester is my VERY first without any classroom teaching commitments since 2017. I was a graduate teaching assistant for my first five years of grad school, and I taught for someone on leave at Purdue Fort Wayne in Fall 2022, at Ohio University (online) in Spring 2023, and at Stephen F. Austin State University (online) in Fall 2023. Needless to say, I haven’t had a lot of time to write. Here I am! Grateful. There’s more I could say, but I hope that I will have the chance to share more through the songs I have written and will write during this intriguing moment of my life. May it be so!

Driving: 1/2 - 1/6

I genuinely would have flown to Cottonwood, Idaho to be artist-in-residence at St. Gertrude’s Monastery this month, if it were not for five or six things:

1. Flying is expensive.

2. Guitar

3. Ukulele

4. Autoharp

5. Skis

I surprised many people by sharing that I would be driving out here all alone, but the reality is that I saw a few good friends along the way and enjoyed several hours of an audiobook, too. Mom gave me Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner for Christmas, and I thought that a good reason to at least listen to some of it while driving. The images in the book were striking, and Stegner’s portrayals of The West often coincidentally corresponded with what I was seeing as I passed through different topographical areas.

When Eli and I put together this tour, we imagined playing music together in Macomb, Illinois at the end of 2023, and my continuing west from there. This came to fruition, and we had a lovely time sharing music at The Wine Sellers, Wesley Village, and Forgottonia December 28-30. Unexpectedly, my parents were able to be in Macomb that entire span of time, so the two of us had a lot of time with both sets of parents all in the same town! What a treat. We rang in the New Year with some of our best friends from high school, and on January 2nd, I was on my way.

I’ll try not to say too much about every detail of my drive. Those who have driven from Illinois to Idaho know there are plenty of boring parts of the journey. On January 2nd, I drove from Macomb to Omaha, and got to catch up with a dear old friend from high school, Alex. When I arrived in Omaha, it was a moderate temperature. When I left the next morning, it was frigid and the fields were frosty and beautiful. Thus, it was a beautiful drive through Nebraska for me. I was surprised when, in a gas station in the middle of nowhere, someone exclaimed to me joyously that he “had never seen diesel so cheap!” As the day warmed up, the fields got browner, which made my arrival in Colorado a bit ironic:

I have been to Colorado twice before. Once, I rode in a Youth Group Van™ with Wesley United Methodist Church all of the way to Estes Park! The second time, I flew with the WIU University Singers to Denver, and then we drove into Boulder. I have wonderful memories of both trips. The drive this time held understated beauty. I liked the vast plains that gently turned to rolling hills. Then I saw dark blue clouds in the distance and realized they were mountains. Not two hours later, I was in Boulder. I stayed at a little motel there, just five minutes from where I would play a solo set at Velvet Elk Lounge:

My set went well, and I enjoyed not only playing music there but also the tasty food and drinks the venue provided. Oh, and getting paid was nice, too. I slept well that night and was on the road early the next morning because my next stop would be Eden, Utah and I wanted to get there in time for night skiing.

Now we reach the portion where there are no photographs for a little bit (maybe my family members who received pictures from me that night can help me out and send me some of my last blurry Android photo memories). I enjoyed a stunningly beautiful drive from Boulder to Eden on January 4th, and arrived at Powder Mountain in time to use my Indy Pass for a little bit of night skiing. Powder Mountain is an amazing place; it seems like it is practically always snowing there. Even with the limited open trails for night skiing, I was grateful to be able to ski out west for the first time. I enjoyed a “green circle” run which felt more like a blue square in the Midwest, and then tried out a few blue squares. I consulted the map and saw a nice long green circle run which appeared to be open for night skiing, too. I hopped on the trail and enjoyed a peaceful ride through the trees. It just kept going, and going, and going… until I realized I had skied into an area where people were staying in condos. I looked at the map and realized I was very far away from the lift open for night skiing. I started to trudge back in that direction, when a lovely ski patrol member, Julie, came gliding down the hill and told me that she could help me get back faster. By this point I was exhausted, and was grateful to have someone help me find a better way back. It was a black diamond run, and more advanced than I would have been comfortable skiing alone. Julie was also a great teacher and gave me some good tips as we descended. At the bottom of the run, happy to be back to my car, I reached into my pocket and realized I had lost my phone. My terrible, always-freezing, blurry photos Android was somewhere resting along that long green circle run. Appropriately, the run that I skied astray was called “Slow Poke.” As Julie and I brainstormed what to do about my phone, I looked high up on the hill at the point where we had met, and could see the grooming machine probably running over my terrible phone at that very moment. Ashes to ashes!

I slept hard that night, and in the morning I skied the most beautiful trails I have ever seen in my life. I simply cannot describe the beauty of this place. And I didn’t have a phone to take any pictures. It was heavenly.

I left Eden and bought myself a new phone in Ogden, Utah, at the bottom of the big mountain. Indeed, I finally have an iPhone. Then I set out towards Boise, Idaho. On my way to Boise, I had the great fortune of sharing dinner with a dear friend from FSU, Nate, in Twin Falls, Idaho. That night, I arrived in Boise to the coziest guest room in the sweet home of my old friend Laura, whom I talked with for hours. It was such a peaceful way to spend my last night before arriving at St. Gertrude’s the next day.

Arriving: 1/6

Getting from Boise to Cottonwood, Idaho on January 6th was easily the most difficult drive of my week. Fortunately, it was also the shortest distance. As Laura and I chatted and ate brunch, I watched soft snowflakes begin to fall behind her. As I headed out, the snowflakes were bigger and the roads were slushy. I knew that all I could do was take my time and drive slowly. Most of my drive that day was through mountainous areas. Almost immediately upon leaving Boise, I ascended into the mountains of the Boise National Forest (I promise that I took the picture above while driving very slowly…and nobody was behind me). This portion of the drive was challenging but incredibly beautiful, and I took my time.

After getting through the forest, I had a brief respite from mountains and river valleys. Then, it began to snow, and I ascended into another range of mountains. I love the snow, but as it got dark I was grateful that the snow mostly stopped. When I finally drove out of the mountains onto the Camas Prairie, I was a little disappointed that there was no snow anywhere (except I was grateful that the roads were clear). About ten minutes from St. Gertrude’s, I pulled into Cottonwood, Idaho. The sign for Cottonwood was covered in snow, and for the next ten minutes (and practically my entire time here so far) it snowed hard.

I arrived at St. Gertrude’s just fifteen minutes before Evening Praise (which is like Evening Prayer). There wasn’t time to get into my room beforehand, so we walked into the Chapel and settled in for a cozy Epiphany prayer service in this beautiful space:

The prayer service was both joyful and serene. The sisters chanted most of the service, probably because it was Epiphany. I loved hearing them chant, and singing with them, and taking in the beauty of St. Gertrude’s first and foremost in this sacred place where they pray, sing, and worship every day. After Evening Praise, Sister Teresa, who coordinates the residency program and is the Prioress of St. Gertrude’s, helped me grab some of my things and showed me my room. Here are some pictures of it after I unpacked and settled in:

This room has been so peaceful. I did not expect the little sitting room with the desk and counter area, but it has really made it feel like a small apartment more than just a room. I definitely did not expect or remember that I would have my own bathroom, but that has been so nice. The relaxed and welcoming space here in my room reflects the overall environment of hospitality which everyone who visits St. Gertrudes’s experiences.

Songwriting: 1/7 - 1/14

I am here at St. Gertrude’s until Tuesday, January 23rd, and hope to write at least one more journal before I leave. Either way, I thought I could tell you a little about daily life here at the monastery since my arrival. First of all, here is the schedule:

Having arrived on a Saturday, the sisters would celebrate Epiphany on Sunday, January 7th. The services for Evening Praise on Saturday, January 6th were a vigil for the Feast on Sunday. I really enjoyed my first Sunday here, it was a big, beautiful celebration of The Epiphany all day. There was even a concert in the Monastery which I was invited to participate in that Sunday afternoon:

In a good way, all of the days since that Sunday a week ago (feels like a month ago, so much to take in) have been pretty similar. I follow the schedule above, praying and celebrating the Eucharist and eating my meals with the sisters. Immersing myself into the rhythms of their lives has been deeply meaningful for me, and I think it’s the best way one could learn about a community different from one’s own. “Hannah, are you really getting up at 6 or 7am every day?” Well, yes, and I just keep telling myself that if I were in Eastern Time (Fort Wayne is ET), it would be 9 or 10am! Plus, the sunrises are beautiful when we get them (lots of grey snowy skies, which I don’t mind either). Also, breakfast always has some tasty options:

By the way, silence is observed here from 9pm-9am. I love it. It is a nice boundary, especially when living with a lot of other people. So we eat breakfast in silence, and wander into the chapel in silence for prayer. Morning Praise is a peaceful way to start the day, and the chapel is often bright with the morning sun.

After that, it’s off to my studio to get started on songwriting for the day. Here are some pictures of my studio, which is located in the Mary Magdalene room (which I love):

Unless it’s Tuesday or Saturday, we celebrate The Eucharist at 11:30am five days a week. Such a grounding experience, after a full morning of songwriting. Then we have dinner. I thought the distinction of calling lunch dinner was just an older way of saying it, then I remembered that my grandparents did that too and specifically on days when we had a very large meal at noon. It is that way here, too, dinner is the largest meal of the day. Seriously, the food here is so good. Almost everything is homemade and a large amount of the food is from the local region. And I don’t have to cook it! I would have to do the dishes… but a bunch of college students are here on a January term and they got that assignment! Lucky me :)

After dinner, I get out on the trail behind the Monastery as quickly as I can. I am usually all layered up with my snowpants, snowboots, etc. by 1pm:

These hikes have been beautiful. I love taking the same route every day, and seeing the subtle changes to the scenery as the snow transforms everything. The hill behind the monastery is quite steep, and taking the full loop up to the top of the hill and back takes me about an hour and a half, especially when I am knee-deep in snow for at least half of the hike. I mostly do this for exercise, but it is also spiritually engaging and has even yielded songwriting (while knee-deep in snow). Here are some of my favorite photos and videos from my daily hikes:

All of that beauty, and when I get back to the bottom of the hill I see this wonderful place:

Then my wet clothes go on the radiator, I make some steaming hot black coffee, and I get back to work for a few more hours until Evening Praise and Supper.

I was telling my friend Anna about my daily routine on the phone the other day, and she responded by saying that it all “sounds very old timey in a good way,” pointing out that most people don’t realize there are even places like this in the United States. I agreed with her. This kind of routine and life does not seem like one that could exist in the hurried and frantic world we live in now. Yet, it does. The women here are hearty, industrious, and at the same time peaceful, still, and warm. Their work and rest coexist in a way which is not only admirable, but strikes me as very sane. I could really keep writing, but I actually really can’t. It is quiet hours now and I have to get to bed so that I can maintain this early bird schedule for just a week longer. I’ll write more again soon. Is there more you would like me to write about? Let me know!

FINALLY, it would be ridiculous for me to write so much and not remind you of this very important thing: we are crowdfunding our next two albums now, for 30 more days. The music I am writing here is intended for these two albums. I would really like to share it with you. Check out the crowdfund on Kickstarter at this link: Our Kickstarter Crowdfund Link

with wintry love,

Hannah